


me & ur ghost

by sampaguitaeiji



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: HAHAHHAAH ANGST UN LANG, HI QUARANTINE, M/M, WLA 2 MONTHS Q NA TO DI PINUPUBLISH KASI NAIIYAK AQ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampaguitaeiji/pseuds/sampaguitaeiji
Summary: 5 senses fic but make it aNGST (also the fic is not solely based on the song i just felt like some of the lyrics has the same vibes with this hHAHAHHAHAH)i suck at descriptions hhhhhhhhhhthis fic was actually 95% finished like 2 months ago im just lazy as hell and everytime i read this i cry so yeahSONG THAT'S A BOP WHERE I GOT THE TITLE FROM:https://open.spotify.com/track/4yJiXq86uM56uIfIZgE440?si=RtnDPtcmRC2CLYqEacVPwA
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	me & ur ghost

TOUCH

Ash–when he wasn’t busy–would lie his head down on my lap and I would stroke his hair. His hair was feather soft and felt like silk when I would run my fingers through it. He would laugh when I brush my fingers down near his nape, “That tickles,onii-chan!”

When you look at Ash, you wouldn’t think his hands would be so rough. But years of handling a gun gave him callouses. Ash said it was better that way, it made him less of a spoiled pet if his hands weren’t silky soft, that was what he said.

SIGHT

His eyes weren’t just green.  
When he would laugh, you'd just want to stare at his face forever. First, his mouth, wide open and laughing, then his eyes, crinkled and not just green. When he was happy his green eyes had a golden veil upon them, like the sun’s rays being caught upon the leaves.

He would yell and scream when he was sad, and his eyes don’t seem that green anymore. The jade green turns into a murky mess–the green buried under a tidal wave of purples, blues, and grays never seeming to resurface again.

When he was mad was another matter. If you go near him and see his eyes when he was mad, you’d get scared. His eyes were green; neon and unnatural. 

Even if he was three years younger than me, his eyes didn’t look the part. When a plate falls and breaks, when someone smashes their fist on a table, when a bullet goes through someone he used to know, those green eyes would glaze and look older than before.

The last time I had a glimpse of those eyes… I-I can’t do this. 

You were doing so well Mr. Okumura, just continue.

Don’t you get it? I can’t!

Would you feel more comfortable skipping to the next then?

I’ll try.

Good, then please continue.

TASTE

We’ve only kissed once.

He tasted like prison food.

And something else that I can’t put my finger on.  
He tasted electric.

He tasted alive and full of everything life could give.  
Ash tasted euphoric.  
He tasted like that dash of adrenaline I get whenever I get my jumps right.

Ash tasted right.

HEARING

He liked to sing, you know. When I would listen to the radio and a cheesy love song would play, he used to make faces and say I was a sap but he would sing along mockingly to prove a point. That was fun.

He liked to sleep in and he was a terror when you tried to wake him up but he had the cutest groggy voice.

Hearing him like that made living with him the best. He would say my name like it was an expensive sweet on his tongue. Rolling, savouring, making the word “Eiji” seem so different when he said it.

When he sees a pumpkin, there is always a whine and yelp. It made him sound like a kid his age, it made him young.

He only ever stayed young.

SMELL

Ash didn’t smell like those expensive perfumes Dino liked, nor did he smell like gunpowder even with those guns he had in close proximity. He didn't smell like the New York streets he wanders in. Ash, he smelled like home, like shampoo and soap and when you’ve been out the sun all day. He smelled like coffee and paper and… and… he smelled… like

Ash.

Ash who couldn’t even be a kid. Ash who never had a proper life. Ash who only had a glimpse of homemade meals and intimacy without sex. He only ever knew guns and violence and having to somehow survive in the cruel world he got into. Ash who was so smart but instead of a highschool with classmates and laughter and funny experiences it was hacking into a mainframe and being touched by old men without consent. 

He… Ash… He didn’t deserve any of that.  
He deserved love.  
Warmth.  
Happiness.

He never got that much of it.

End of recording.  
Press any button to replay the recording.

Yue said a therapist would help. It sort of did, in a way, but I asked if we could record our sessions. I told the doctor it helps me sleep quicker when I listen to the recording, it didn't.

His face would haunt my dreams, every night he calls out to me. The phantom touch of his hand, the fucking loss of his smell, the last and only time we kissed… it… the idea of his loss killed me.

I couldn’t do anything, at all, his very name reduced to nothing but a whisper.

Aslan Jade Callenreese. 

Ash Lynx.

Gone.

**Author's Note:**

> lemme just thank the 3 gREATEST PEOPLE WHO HELPED ME WITH THIS: mama (idk ur ao3 @ sorry) thanks for editing and helping me have a concrete idea, ackerlynx for the title and for the endless support and love for all my fics even if they make u cry and MY BBY USHIJIMARR WHO'S ALWAYS THE ONE WHO READS ALL OF MY FICS AND CRIES ILABYU AHHHHH


End file.
